Epiphanies
by IlUvSkitTLes
Summary: They're 18 when she gets struck by lightening on the bridge. And then she's waking up 9 years later to no memory surpassed 11th grade, Lucas Friar (Riley's Lucas Friar) in her bed, and Zay telling her he's her Fairy God Mother- or Father because it fits better- come to help her realize her mistakes


**Description: They're 18 when she gets struck by lightening walking home by herself. And then she's waking up 11 years later to no memory surpassed 11th grade, Lucas Friar (Riley's Lucas Friar) in her bed, and Zay telling her he's her Fairy god mother- or father because it fits better-**

 **I'll assume this was inspired by 17 Again, or maybe Freaky Friday. Or maybe from one of the thousands of fanfics Ive read since I'm still searching for a life. I don't know how this came about, and I've pretty much bullshitted my way through an idea with no real plot. It's my first GMW story, so take it easy on me I'm delicate!**

 **They're 18 in the story. But then they're 15, then 27, then 21 and you'll really just have to read it to understand.**

 **This story actually really sucks, why did I write this. Oh yes, because Texas infuriated me enough to pull anything out of my ass to change the fate of Lucaya. Enjoy!**

 **.**

She stares with a masked expression when Riley tells her that her and Lucas are gonna get back together. They're at the bay window. It's midnight and she'd just crawled through the window after Riley's persistent text messages. Apparently it was important, and she was doing nothing more than starring at the water leakage stains on her ceiling anyways. So, when she tells her that Lucas and her were getting back together after not really even breaking up in the first place? That's just how they worked. They would have a breakup without the mere mention of the word itself, yet keep away from any other potential spouses and act surprised when they tell people they're back together. Because they never really broke up in the first place and this happened every other month.

See, at first it annoyed her. Constantly crawling into bed with the brunette, catching her tears on Maya's shirt, and watching Titanic like they were cast in some cheesy Hollywood teen movie. But she sucked it up, because Riley was her best friend and she was Riley's. But then she started to notice how blue Lucas's eyes really were. She started noticing how sharp his jawline was, and how wide his shoulders have gotten. She started noticing that her threats were becoming nothing more than empty promises and the unnerving feeling was butterflies. Fucking _butterflies_. She nearly threw his hillbilly ass out the classroom window when she came to terms with these feelings. Because he was smirking at her, and there was this glint in his eyes and it was like he was _mocking_ her. Like he _knew_.

But he couldn't have. Because she barely knew it herself up until then and she was certainly not okay with it.

But after a while she started to notice when she fisted his shirt in her hands and drew him to her to whisper cruel things, he would lean a little closer. When they were all together and she would rant about some project she had yet to start, his eyes would linger a little longer. When Riley would tell her they were getting back together, he wouldn't dare look into her eyes for days. Or when her eyes would light up at the mention of Josh slipping past Riley's lips, that his got a little darker.

So when Riley tells her that her and Lucas are getting back together, she stares with an masked expression. Because it hurts. And it _breaks_ her. And Riley can never know. So she bullshits some half assed excuse that she's sure Riley can see right through and crawls back out the window before Cory acknowledges her presence. She jumps down the fire escape with little to no effort (she's snuck out more times than she's exactly proud of) and she walks. She walks nowhere and everywhere, and the dark sketchy roads should be scary for an 18 year old girl but rage is pumping through her veins and it's all she feels. Her hair is soaked from the rain by the time she reaches a bridge she's come across a few times. She flinches as lightening ripples through the sky and lights up the water under the bridge for a good few seconds. Her tears mesh with the rain on her cheeks and it's fucking cold, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care about anything, at least that's what she tells herself when ocean-blue eyes and blond hair flash through her mind and she climbs up on the railing.

She's not gonna jump, she's not stupid. But there was something about the adrenaline rush of almost jumping that makes her feel something other than rage and heartache. Something about stepping a little too close to the road when the bus is speeding by faster than it should, or taking a couple more pills than she should that makes her feel alive. Lightening hits again and crackles through the sky. The road lights up brighter than the last strike and she feels...off. There's something wrong, she knows it, as her foot slips from the railing under the rain and her hands grip the edge of the ledge tighter. Her breath catches in her throat as she throws herself back, saving herself from slipping.

And fuck. That was too close and she shouldn't be doing this. She needs to go home.

But then she's flinging her leg over the metal railing and lightening hits again. Except this time her body goes stiff and her hands clutch tighter onto the metal and the hairs on her arms are standing straight. Her eyes clutch shut as pain fills her body and she doesn't think to scream. The sky goes dark again and she lets go of the railing, begging for relief, when she leans the wrong way on accident.

And she doesn't have time to reflect on her life, she doesn't get flashbacks. She just prays that this isn't the way she's gonna die when the water swallows her in.

.

See, every morning she would wake up at 6:45am on the dot. It was just a reflex, a terrible one when Saturday and Sunday rolled around, mind you, but a reflex never less. So, when this god awful rap song shook her out of her slumber, she was first, scared fucking shitless, but also extremely confused. Rolling onto her side she poked her arm out of the duvet she was buried in, flailing it around to find the snooze button to an alarm clock she doesn't have. The duvet doesn't fit the picture either but she's too sleep deprived to go into it. She drops her hand when she doesn't find an off button and sits up in her-

This was not her twin sized bed.

And what?

Her breath quickened, and maybe this was the start to a panic attack.

"Mhm, Maya..."

She pauses and glances at the mop of blond hair buried under the covers. The guy that looked about _twice_ her age reaches out to lay a hand on her thigh. Oh my sweet Jesus, she had a one night stand with some creep from that bar she kept sneaking into, didn't she?

"Can you turn the alarm off, that song is awful." He murmurs into the pillow. His face was turned towards the wall and he was laying on his stomach which blocked her from solving all these unanswered questions. And maybe she wouldn't be too hard on herself about this because she was greatly appreciating his back muscles right now. The duvet laid at his waist, preventing her from appreciating the rest of him and her breath was quickening again.

She swings her legs off the side of the bed and searches frantically for a snooze button.

"I-I can't..."

This is not okay. The lights on the alarm were flashing blue, telling her it was 7am and she reaches around the nightstand to unplug it from the wall. Her brain settles into the silence as the blond mystery man rolls onto his back.

She watches his eyes run over her body and reach her face before his brows furrow with confusion.

"Maya, are you o-"

His voice gets drowned out by her own thoughts (which is like a skill for her now) and she glances down at her barely clothed body. Huh. She doesn't remember buying red matching undergarments and did her legs get longer? Her eyes widen. This was not the same view she has when she glances down at her body each morning. Who the fuck gave her a boob job overnight? She was eighteen, sure, but no one goes through like three years of puberty in one fucking night!

"Maya...what's wrong..." His voice was back, more cautious than last time and he was getting off the bed inching towards her.

And oh my bloody god.

Blond hair. Ocean blue eyes. Same jaw-line, same nose...his shoulders were a little wider and his biceps were definitely refined. He was a good foot or two above her.

Nope. This isn't happening. She's dreaming. She drowned in the water and went to a Lucas Friar filled hell. She went to hell for liking her best friend's (ex?) boyfriend and Satan is throwing it in her face.

She stumbles back a few feet, shaking her head. This wasn't a panic attack, it was a heart attack. She needed a doctor. She needed to know why her boobs were two sizes bigger and her legs were miles longer and if it was possible for someone to be shocked into death.

She's never walking home in a thunder storm ever fucking again. Add water onto the list of things she's now terrified of.

"Please..." Her voice is deeper and sharper and she was scared _shitless_. "Please tell me you're Lucas's father and I'm not going insane."

The man bursts out in a laugh and drops a hand down to a shirt thrown lazily on the floor. She watches him throw it over his head swiftly and glance back at her.

"D'you have one of those weird dreams again?"

Her hands were shaking and her vision was blurring. She reaches out for the bed sheets and sits back down, squeezing her eyes shut and clutching the blankets in her fists.

"Lucas?" She asks in a small voice, and she's not sure she's ready to hear the answer, really.

"Yeah...are you okay? C'mere-" And he reaches out to her as her eyes fluttered open. She panics and jumps off the bed. There's a bathroom connected to the bedroom and she locks herself in it, making a beeline to the mirror.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!"

.

It's been two hours and she's pretty sure she's inspected every inch of her body. Which, yes, included her...lady parts, which were clearly recently waxed. She was definitely frickle frackling on the daily. She's rummaged through everything in the bathroom in an attempt to find _anything_ that would give her insight on how old she was, where the fuck she was, or maybe how she managed to forget a huge chunk of her life and wake up next to her best friend's boyfriend?

What was one thing that held all that information?

Her phone. She needs to find her phone.

She presses her ear against the door to make sure Lucas wasn't still lent back against it like he had when she first trapped herself in here. She creeps out slowly. The house (or apartment?) was sickeningly silent. The bathroom and bedroom were sparkling clean and this couldn't be her house. If anyone has seen her bedroom, they'd know cleaning was not her most cherished skill set. She froze when a buzzing sound came out of nowhere.

 _Fergalicious definition, make them boys go loco._

Her eyes widen and she whips around to find a white phone vibrating on the nightstand. And was that Fergalicious?

 _They want my treasure so they get their pleasu-_

Her eyes narrow on the phone and she snatches it up, looking at the caller ID of someone she didn't recognize. Should she? No. She presses ignore and nearly drops the (what the hell was this? An iPhone 24?) phone due to a picture on the background. Her and Lucas were kissing with wine glasses in their hands. She wasn't wearing a wedding dress, so it couldn't have been her wedding. She never believed in marriage anyways. Did this mean she was with Lucas though?

She takes a deep breath through her nose and scrolls through albums. Pictures of a baby- _which hopefully wasn't her's_ \- and was that Zay? And was that Zay holding the baby?

Scrolling through more photos, she learns three things. One, Riley and her barely talk anymore. Two, there were way too many pictures of Lucas, she needed to get a life. You'd think after how many years, she'd find a new _crush_ or whatever. That's some intense dedication. Three, there was an odd amount of pictures of a tall brunette that she didn't recognize, who looks to be in her young teenage years. She was in some of them with her. But, then, Lucas was also in some with the little brunette. Okay, this is just freaking her out more. She feels like she's Rachel McAdams in The Vow right now.

She puts the phone back on the nightstand the way she found it. What? If she somehow traveled through time or some shit, she didn't wanna mess with her future or whatever. She's seen 17 Again, no thanks.

She pokes her head out of the room and jesus christ there was like four bedrooms in this place. Everything was white and there was a large staircase that led down to a white carpet entry. It was still silent, which was a green flag in her books and starts walking down the hall. A door with random stickers and caution signs makes her stop. Now _this_ was something that actually seemed like her. She grips the handle and turns the knob, letting the door swing open.

The sun shone in from the large windows. It looked out to a busy city and you could tell they were maybe a good 20 stories high. The room was covered in tarps and blankets. There's three easels in different ends of the room. Two empty, and one with a painting in the making. She glances down the hall before creeping in, her eyes focused on the unfinished painting.

It was extremely colorful. It didn't seem like her. It looked like a park, two black shadows standing under an umbrella. The leaves were all the colors of the rainbow, falling onto the wet ground that reflected off this white light that the couple were walking towards. Looks like she got her inspiration from Van Gogh or Leonid Afremov. She shakes her head and turns around to tear away one of the tarps off another picture frame. A black and white painting. A girl with no face except for the eyes and black tears.

 _Okay,_ so that's more like her.

She starts tearing off the rest of the tarps. They're all black and white. She glances back at the unfinished painting and eyes it. Why was that one different?

"Still don't know why you changed your style all of a sudden." She looks up at the smirking blonde lent against the door frame and her nervousness is back. She got so lost in her paintings, she forgot the fucked up situation she was in. He drops his arms to his sides. "I'd like to think it's because you fell madly in love with me and your life is like a thousand times brighter now." He says sarcastically, and she swallows hard. "You never were good with words." He took a glance at the faceless girl painting at the back wall and pursed with lips. "But you always did know how to express it through your work."

She takes one of the tarps from the floor and throws it over the unfinished painting. For some reason, she thinks he's right and turns around to face him.  
She'd never admit it but he aged exceptionally well. Like really, _really_ well.

And no. Fuck. No. You are not attracted to Lucas. He's Riley's. And you're...well you're nobody's and that's okay because you don't need anybody and you never did.

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Okay, listen up, Huckleberry-"

His brows shoot up in amusement and slight confusion. " _Huckleberry_ ? Hell, Maya, way to bring back cringe-worthy high school flashbacks." He laughs and steps closer.

She could smell the cheap mint shampoo reeking off him and wondered when he had the time to shower since she'd been locked in the bathroom all morning. "Listen Casanova, calm down for a second. We need to talk. Like now." She growls, grabbing him by his arm (or at least as much arm that she could wrap her hand around, his muscles were the size of her face) and dragged him out of the room.

Clearly, she couldn't just up right and say _"Hey, Lucas, I was 16 like two hours ago and don't know why you're like 28 and why I woke up in your bed. Please elaborate._ "

That would be a quick trip to the mental ward. No thank you.

He's giving her this look now, as if telling her to get on with it and she really wants to smack that look off his pretty face. He fueled something in her that she couldn't explain. Or even understand.

"Bring me to the dining room."

He snorts at her casual tone. "Bring yourself to the dining room. I'm not your personal slave as much as you'd like to hope I was."

Okay, so this was gonna be harder than she thought. Huffing, she whips around, making sure the ends of her hair hit his face, and starts down the stairs.

The railing to the staircase was breathtakingly gorgeous. It matched the dark polished wood she'd seen in the bedroom. She runs her hand over it as she climbs down the stairs, sparing a glance behind her to make sure he was following. The foyer was beautiful too. It was small. The way she liked it. It felt homey. It was cute.

"Are we just gonna stand here, admiring my paint job or are we gonna get to our destination, like, before Easter?"

And when the hell did the cowboy get so damn cocky? And why did she appreciate it so much?

Despite her inner feelings, she shoots daggers at him. "Alright heehaw, keep talking. See what happens." She snaps and turns left (which she prays is the way to the kitchen) and hears him groan behind her.

"Seriously, _what_ is with the nicknames today, Maya? Did you and Riley reminisce over Skype again? Because last time that happened, you cried for two days and- why are you touching me?" He glances down at her fist wrapped into his shirt, pulling him down face-to-face with her.

"Sit, Sundance." She whispers and fans his face with her breath. Thank god she'd managed to locate the kitchen, though. She swallows the gasp that almost escapes when she takes in the marble counters- _and is that seriously a fridge with an ice-cube dispenser_?- and watches Lucas sit on a stool in front of the counter.

He runs a hand over his face with an annoyed expression. "I really don't have time for the PMS train to roll in today, my, okay? You know I have to be in early today for interrogation."

Interrogation? Jesus christ did she have sex with a criminal? Why is Lucas a criminal, what has she done to him?

She runs her hands through her hair and glances down. And what the fuck? She's been in this time machine prison dream for like 3 hours already and she hadn't found two minutes to put a pair of pants on? And if Huckleberry didn't stop talking not-so-secret gazes at her ass, she was gonna kick him in the face with a pair of his own cowboy boots.

She leans against the counter that separates them and sighs. She should just tell him what's going on. Or at least come up with a reasonable excuse for why she's acting like a 18 year old in clearly not an 18 year old's body right now.

Her eyes fall on the marble counters and oh okay. This makes sense. Her and Lucas must have robbed some bank or something and that's how they're able to afford all this. And he's going into interrogation because he got caught. Because lets be real here, if being an artist was her full time job, she wouldn't even be able to afford cable.

"Maya!"

She flinches, glaring at him. His eyes are definitely more blue than she remembers. "Sorry. Sorry, um." She fiddles with her fingers nervously. "Let's play a game."

Lucas blinks. Once. Twice. Three times. His mouths opens and shuts quickly before he stands up abruptly.

"Okay. I'm leaving now."

Her eyes widen and she flings herself at him, sliding across the polished floors. He grabs her waist and steadies her, his expression clearly not impressed.

"Lucas, please. Please. Just...I think I bumped my head yesterday and I'm having a really hard time remembering a lot of things, okay?" And yeah. that sounds reasonable enough.

But Lucas is anything but reasonable because he's pursing his lips and his eyes are searching her's, studying her. And then he's sitting back down slowly, dragging her with him to wedge her between his legs, his thumbs rubbing circles into her hip bones.

And she doesn't like it. But she does.

"What do you mean you don't remember anything? Where did you bump your head? How did that even happen? Was Zay with you? Did Zay let you climb on the counter again to get the soft baked cookies? Maya, I know you wanna be some strong independent woman but sacrificing your safety for cookies- Bev definitely gets that from you-" And then he's standing up and his hands are running over her head and hair and who the hell is Bev?

This wasn't okay. This is Riley's boyfriend. No matter how old Lucas gets. Which was still freaking her the fuck out.

Maya grabs at his wrists, pulling them back down to his sides when a brunette bounces into the room.

"Hey, Lucas." The brunette greets him and Maya takes a few steps back as the girl whips open one of the cabinets. She looks to be 15 or 16, pretty tall for her age. She has shoulder length dark brown hair and freckles that you wouldn't notice unless you really looked at her. She was wearing sweat pants and a Hot Chili Peppers shirt. The girl glances at her with a frown.

No. This was the girl in the pictures on her phone.

"Hey, Maya, we're out of fruit loops." Her voice is soft and innocent.

Maya glances at Lucas with frantic eyes before focusing back on the girl. "O-Okay."

The girl smiles and shakes her head, pulling out another box of cereal.

What the hell was going on?

The girl plops down next to Lucas and she watches them interact. Did Lucas have a daughter? She couldn't have been her daughter or the kid would have one hundred percent blonde hair between the both of them. Maybe this wasn't even her house. But her paintings...

The girl goes to grab her bag off the counter when Lucas speaks up and Maya thinks she needs to lie down right in the middle of the room.

"Hey, Bev, Maya has to stop by Zay's tonight so I'll take you to get your phone fixed."

The girl (Bev?) smiles and nods, before prancing out of the room.

Maya doesn't move until she hears the front door close.

"Hey, Lucas. Remember when I said I couldn't remember a lot of things?"

.

"Okay, nope, get in the car, we're going to the emergency room. Like right now. Put clothes on."

Maya watches Lucas pace back and forth in the bedroom she woke up in, and maybe if she wasn't freaking out so much, she'd think it was cute.

She's sitting on the bed with her legs crossed and drops her head to her entangled fingers. "If at the end of today my memory doesn't come back, then by all means, strap me to the hood of the car and step on it to the emergency room. But UNTIL then, Lucas, please just answer my questions?" She asks and watches him hesitate for a moment.

He growls after a moment. "What do you expect me to strap you to the hood with? The only thing I have is that rope you bought me for my birthday as a gag gift when we were like 17."

He actually thinks she's serious about strapping her to the car? Was she honestly still the biggest pain in his ass like 10 years later? The thought makes her giddy on the inside.

"Fuck, Lucas, Jesus, you can throw me over your shoulder and walk there like a barbarian for all I care, if it makes you feel better."

He pauses and stares at her with an unreadable expression (like he's been doing a lot today), "You really don't remember anything? This isn't just a way to get me to admit feelings and stuff right?"

What? Admit feelings? She's pretty sure the feelings were pretty clear when they woke up in the same bed naked, but okay.

She runs her thumb over her knuckles, shaking her head. "No, Lucas."

He runs his fingers through his hair. "I should have known. You've been calling me _Lucas_ all morning." She gives him a questioning look and he sits beside her on her side of the bed. "Right, uh, you call me Luke. You refuse to call me Lucas after you agreed to stop calling me stupid nicknames."

Her lips part, but she doesn't say anything. It does sound like her, to be honest.

"Just tell me...basic things."

"Like what? Your favorite color? Because that changes like every week-"

"You're an idiot. No. Like who's damn house I'm in. Why you're here or maybe why there's a girl named Bev here?"

His shoulders drop and he's starring at her with sad eyes.

Her brows furrow. "What?"

"Beverly is your adopted daughter, My. You adopted her three years ago."

.

And then she's standing in this 15 year old's room and her mouth is dry and she reaches out to find something to keep her knees from giving out and finds Lucas's hand.

She looks up at him and her eyes are stinging from holding in all these tears that are threatening to fall. She holds them in because she still has the stubbornness of an 18 year old. She's still 18. And she doesn't understand any of this.

"And you?"

Lucas takes his eyes off a picture on the wall and looks at her. "What about me?"

"What are you to me?" She whispers. She's scared to know, really.

He lets out a dry laugh and pulls his hand away from hers. "I don't know, Maya. You _never_ know. Never give me a straight answer or change the subject when I bring it up. It's always been like this."

He sounded so hurt. Was she actually like that? She was still that little girl with trust issues that didn't believe in love.

But it looked like Lucas actually loved her. So, why didn't she let him in after so long?

"I-I...I'm sorry I didn't know-"

"Alright, no, stop. I can't do this. I can't talk to you like you're a different person all of a sudden. You're acting so weird, and-" His eyes flickered to the door.  
"Look, I gotta get to work. I'll stop by later to pick up Bev for her phone."

And then he was gone and she was more confused than she was when she woke up here.

.

When she goes back into (her?) room to grab her phone, she nearly jumps out of her skin.

" _Zay?!_ "

"I'm assuming you're confused."

She stares at him, baffled.

"That's the stupidest fucking question I've heard all day! Why do you look like young Zay! Why am I here!?" She's screaming now, and Zay sits back on the bed with an amused expression.

"That's because I _AM_ young Zay. _Duh_." He rolls his eyes like it's obvious and she feels the anger run through her veins.

"Your ass better start explaining before I stab a fork through your eyeball."

Zay scoffs and crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought it was obvious?" He points at the halo floating over his head and she sits down in the middle of the floor to reevaluate her entire life, really. She was like 27, had an adopted daughter and a non-relationship-relationship with Lucas. Okay. Normal. And what was even her job? And where the fuck was Riley when she needed her?!

"Clearly you didn't watch Disney princess movies as a kid. But, you're definitely in some Cinderella rated R version shit right now. And I'm like your fairy god mother time shit. Or...father. Because it fits better."

"I said explain, not make me feel shitty about my life choices."

He shoots up from the bed. "Oh, but that's exactly why I'm here. You made a lot of shitty choices, Maya."

She closes her eyes for a moment. "What." She spits out.

"Please, contain your enthusiasm. I didn't chose to be here either, but you like effected my future or something, so I'm here to like save the fucking day apparently. Make you have an epiphany and change your life around. I don't know. I didn't watch many Disney shows either. "

She lets her arms rest against her knees that were brought up to her chest, and quints at him. "So, what? Are you gonna start poofing us into flashbacks of all my shitty mistakes? Because we'll be here forever."

He smiles brightly at her. "Precisely!" and before she has a chance to respond, he touches her arm and the scene changes around them in a flash.

"You couldn't even let me change first?!"

.

"Don't you have some tube thing that we step into that takes us back in time or something? This poofing thing I already know is gonna give me a serious headache."

Zay gives her a look as they step into an 8th grade classroom. "Sorry, we had a short budget on _fairy god mothers_ this season. " He says sarcastically and drags her further into the room.

Her eyes widen as Cory Matthews starts writing on a chalkboard.

"Why are we here?" She whispers, "Can they see us?"

Zay rolls his eyes. "Maya, these are flashbacks, we didn't fly back in time so you can give your younger self a pep talk."

Apparently both Lucas _and_ Zay had hung around her too much because they've both developed the sassy trait.

The bell rings and a ghost of a smile appears on her face at the familiar sound. Students start filing in and she glances at Zay who's sitting in a bean bag chair.

He glances over at her with a shrug. "It's a dream world, I can poof in anything I want. I don't need my back hurting when I'm older with all this standing shit."

She see's young Riley, Lucas and Farkle pile into the room. "Poof me one of those bean bags."

A beanbag appears behind her, with Zay mumbling something about hoping she's more polite in the future, and she sits down cautiously.

Her young self walks in, in a Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. She walks to her seat in front of Lucas.

"Shortstake." Young Lucas nods at young Maya and young Maya glares back.

"HUCKLEBERRY." She snaps, swinging into her seat.

Zay taps her on the shoulder. "Right there. Look."

Maya looks as young Maya swings her hair over her shoulder, and Maya looks back at Lucas who ducked his head hiding a smile. She swallows hard and looks back at Zay.

"Did he always do that after I turned around?"

Zay lets out a dramatic huff. "Your obliviousness is gonna make this day so much longer than it needs to be."

"Hey-" She starts to protest when Zay grabs her arm and the scene changes again.

.

"Since you're clearing not believing me, let's show a bit more of star-struck Lucas, hmm?" Zay smirks as they stand in the Matthews apartment.

Young Maya, Lucas, Riley and Farkle were sitting on the couches in the living room. There was a bunch of textbooks and loose papers surrounding them. She thinks she might remember this.

"Tenth grade?"

Zay nods, pulling them closer.

Maya's eyes widen. "What are you doing? We're close enough, this is so awkward!" but Zay pulls them right up to the coffee table. She's starring right at her young self and sighs.

Zay grabs her arm. "Here." He gestures to young Lucas looking up from his papers to stare at young Maya who was nose deep in her books. It's silent for a moment before young Riley looks up at Lucas.

"The moment Riley catches on." Zay whispers as young Riley's eyes follow Lucas's to the back of Maya's head.

Maya tears her eyes away. "She knew. I didn't know she knew."

It's silent for another moment as Riley looks back down at her books.

She can see Zay about to grab her arm out of the corner of her eye and she steps back.

"Wait."

Another moment goes by and young Maya looks up at Lucas. But by this time, Lucas was back to his books.

"I just wasn't looking when he was looking." She says in shock.

Zay starts clapping. "Wow. You did it. You pointed out the obvious, I'm proud. One step closer for you."

" _You dic-_ "

The scene changes again.

.

"If you like someone else Lucas, just tell me!"

"I don't like anyone else, Riley, will you stop saying that?!"

Maya glances around. Riley's bedroom.

"You don't have to lie, Lucas! I know you're lying to me!" Young Riley was standing by the bay window, tears streaming down her face. Young Lucas was running his hands through his hair.

"I'm. Not. _Lying_." He snaps and Riley turns her back to him.

"You know what, Lucas? Just go."

They stand there for a few seconds as Lucas stares at the back of her head, his shoulder slummed.

"Please, just go."

And then Lucas is walking towards the door. Zay grabs her arm and pulls her out after the Blonde

" _What are you doing?_ " She hisses.

Zay rolls his eyes. "You don't need to whisper, _they can't hear you_." He mockingly hisses back, dragging her after Lucas who had walked out the apartment door.

They follow him outside as he walks down the ally. They stop as he kicks a wall.

"Dammit, Maya!" He growls and punches the wall a few moments later, breathing heavy. He looks down at his scraped up knuckles and leans back against the wall. "Why'd you make me like you?" He says to himself. "Why'd you have to go and ruin everything with your stupid blonde hair and damn nicknames?"

Maya takes a sharp breath. "Wait, he said he got those marks on his knuckles from helping his mom patch up the roof."

"You mean Lucas The Good actually LIED to you? _No_!" His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"So, he did like me." She admits to herself, shocked.

"Einstein 2.0 aren't you?"

He grabs her arms and the scene changes again.

.

"My room." Maya states, stepping back as a young Lucas and young Maya walk into her room. Her old posters were torn down, and new ones were put up. Her twin bed was now a double, and her batman bedspread was replaced with a black comforter.

Zay leans his elbow against her shoulder. "Yep. You were twenty one when you and Lucas actually kissed."

They stare as young Maya flicks a lighter.

"Also the first time you tried weed." He adds in just as young Maya pulled a joint out of her back pocket.

Lucas's brows furrowed and he let out a confused laugh. "What are you doing?"

Young Maya rolls her eyes and flops down on her bed, padding the space beside her. Lucas followed suit and sat next to her, their knees knocking against each others.

"C'mon, Huckleberry. Let's escape for a little while." Young Maya whispers as she inhales the smoke.

They watched as the two got progressively higher, until Maya leans into him laughing with teary eyes. Lucas looks down at her, and she looks up. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Lucas grabs the back of her neck and leans down to smash his lips against hers.

Maya glances at Zay, shifting slightly. "I...I don't..." She fumbles over her words

Zay smirks, glancing back at the two. Maya climbed onto his lap, both knees on either side of his waist. Lucas had one hand on her waist and the other lost in her hair, pulling her closer. Maya grabs his hand that was placed on her hip and pushed it down to her ass.

"C'mon, Sundance. Stop being such an innocent little cowboy."

And then Maya was grinding down on Lucas through his jeans and Lucas was flipping them over to hover over her on the bed.

"Oh," Zay spoke up, turning back to her. "It's also the first time you guys had sex."

Maya glares at him as young Maya started unbuckling Lucas's belt buckle. "I think I figured that out thanks. Now zap us somewhere else, this isn't your personal porno."

They walk into the living room and Maya closes the door just to make sure.

"I don't get this, Zay. Why are you showing me all this? Why is this all happening to me?"

Zay sighs. "You never let Lucas in. What you guys are doing in there is the best you could give him."

"Wasn't I in love with him?"

"ARE you in love with him, Maya?"

Maya bit down on her tongue. Was she? She didn't even need to think about the answer. She knew she was. She just wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of her answer.

"I...Did. _Do_. But Riley always stopped me. Always in the back of my mind. I couldn't do that to her."

And then Zay was grabbing her arm again and the scene was changing.

.

They were at a bar. The one she used to sneak into when she was 16.

"While you were pushing Lucas away, Riley and Farkle had their own epiphany." Zay says as they walk through the bar, to a table full of people she recognized. Riley's parents, her mom, the gang, and some new faces. She watched Farkle slide his arm around Riley's waist. "Farkle proposed to Riley. You were all twenty five at the time."

Maya let the words sink in as Farkle dropped down to one knee, everyone smiling as if they'd already known this was gonna happen. Riley was clutching a glass of wine, tears falling aimlessly from her face. But she didn't look like happy Riley.

"She's not happy." She states as Riley pushes the ring away and walks out of the bar. Zay stays silent as they follow Riley out of the bar.

Riley was lent up against the wall, letting a cigarette dangle through her fingers.

Maya shakes her head. "No. Why is Riley smoking? That's not Riley. NONE of this is Riley!"

Zay doesn't answer her again as someone pushes the bar door open.

Young Lucas comes out and wraps her in an embrace.

"Wait." She pauses as young Lucas whips Riley's tears away. "Riley was still in love with Lucas."

Zay's eyes flickers to her's for a moment, before glancing back at the two still holding each other. "Because you never told Lucas how you felt, Lucas and her continued dating and Riley _thought_ she loved him and couldn't let him go. But Lucas was still in love with you."

He touches her arm and the scene changes again, and she thinks if she ever gets home, she needs to change a few things.

.

The room turns into a decorated gym. It's her middle school's gym.

"Cory decided when we were all 25, 6 months after the engagement, that there needed to be a reunion at the middle school." Zay starts. "I never understood that man, honestly."

Maya nods silently and scans the busy crowed for anyone she recognized.

Zay grabs her hand this time and walks her to the other end of the room, where she could see Riley and herself at one of the tables in the back. "Everyone came alone. Everyone except Farkle. He found a girl that could love him the way he was supposed to be loved."

She watched Riley's eyes fall over Farkle and his new girlfriend.

"But, of course, that's when Riley realized she actually did love Farkle. And of course, it was too late by then."

Zay raises his hands and time speeds up. The room doesn't change, but more like...fast forwards. Riley had gotten up after a while and left Maya sitting alone watching the crowd.

Zay lowers his hands as someone sits next to the 25 year old Maya. "You hadn't seen Lucas since Riley's engagement to Farkle. You guys kiss later that night and you're right back where you guys were when you were 21. Him giving you his all, and you still only giving him half of that because you were scared he still loved your best friend."

"I don't understand." She turns to Zay. "What is this all supposed to do for me?"

Zay sighs and grabs her arm. She closes her eyes because the room changes are actually giving her a headache now.

.

The end up in the apartment she woke up in this morning.

"See," Zay walks ahead of her, heading towards the stairs. "You ended up in this place in time after you fell in the water because this is when you and Lucas were the happiest."

She doesn't say anything, but follows him up the stairs. She can hear screaming and something smashes.

Zay stops right outside the bedroom she woke up in and turns to her. "If there's one thing you'll take back with you when you wake up, what's it gonna be?"

Maya lets her eyes drop to the floor. There were so many things. "That I'm in love with him. And that he needs to know that."

Zay smirks. "Then I've done my job right." He whispers and swings the door open. "But just to make sure you actually go back and change things, I wanna show you one more thing."

Her and Lucas looked a couple years older than when she first woke up today. Her hair was a little shorter, his a little longer.

"A few months after today, the place you woke up in, you still hadn't told Lucas you loved him."

"I can't do this anymore, Maya!"

"I never asked you to!"

Lucas licks his lips and looks down. "I wanted to."

Maya wipes the tears from her eyes. "What do you want from me, Lucas?"

And then Lucas was grabbing a suitcase and pulling it over his shoulder. "I just wanted you to give me a reason to stay. To not make me feel like this relationship wasn't going anywhere...f-for you to actually tell me you loved me back." He walks closer to the door as Maya collapses on the floor.

A door creaks open from the other end of the hall and she recognizes Bev, a couple years older, walking out of the room. Her head was down, letting her long hair curtain around her face. She'd dyed her hair blonde.

Lucas stops in the doorway and drops the suitcase. "Bev-"

Beverly looks up, and Maya wants to punch something because 18 or not, that was her future child, and she didn't wanna see her cry.

"Are you leaving?" She asks quietly and that's when Maya see's Lucas cry. She's never seen him cry. He was always the tough, calm boy from Texas with no flaws or worries. But now he was looking at this little girl with helpless eyes.

Maya took a step back, pulling Zay back with her as Lucas moved towards Bev.

" _No_ , baby. Not you. I'm not leaving you, I told you I never would." And he's brushing her hair away that's stuck to her tear stained cheeks.

"But you're leaving my mom."

"I love your mom. I've been in love with her since I was 16 and she was jumping on my back yelling at me to take her to class in a hillbilly accent." He pauses. "I just don't think she loves me."

And Maya was crying now. Where the hell was her future self?! She was so angry. What was _WRONG_ with her? Why is she not fucking out there stopping him from leaving?!

"She does, Luke. I know she does."

Bev runs into his arms and he freezes for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around her. "Well then, maybe one day she'll tell me."

Zay grabs her arm and she looks back at him with frantic eyes. "Wait, I wanna know what happens after that!"

But the scene was already changing and everything went white.

.

"What's happening?"

"I can't keep you here forever, Maya. You've been in the water for like hours now." Zay says with a laugh. "That water is cold as fuck, you're gonna wake up with no toes."

"Am I gonna remember this when I wake up?"

Zay rolls his eyes. "If you didn't, this would have been such a waste of time, oh my god. Now wake up."

Maya's brows furrow and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Well?"

Zay grabs her shoulders. "Maya. Wake up."

Her throat starts to feel itchy and she suddenly can't breath.

"W-wait-"

"WAKE UP!"

Her throats on fire and it feels like her lungs are filling up with water. Her body starts tingly and she feels herself going numb.

And then everything goes black.

.

"ADAM'S, SHE'S NOT RESPONDING!"

"DO IT AGAIN!"

" _JIM_ -"

"I SAID DO IT!"

She feels pressure on her chest and the voices are getting louder. She can hear sirens in the back, foot steps, and something being wheeled closer to her. The pressure on her chest gets harder and the voices get clearer and she's trying to move any part of her body but she can't.

"GET HER ON IT AND GET THE OXYGEN MASK ON HER!"

And then she's being lifted up and she's suddenly very aware of how drenched she is. Something gets strapped over her face and she can almost breath again.

"Come on, baby girl. Breath for me."

A lady's voice is right by her ear, and the pressure on her chest is back. There's vibrations under her and the cold wind isn't hitting her face anymore. A car engine starts up and she can feel them moving.

"One more time and we have to call it." A man's voice is on her other side and the pressure gets harder, almost unbearable and suddenly the feeling in her finger tips come back and she flings herself up into a sitting position. Her eyes flutter open and she takes a gasp of air.

The people around her are frantically moving but she can feel the water clogged in her throat and starts coughing.

Her vision is so blurry she only see's swooshes of color. She coughs some of the water up.

"Hey, baby girl." There's a hand brushing her hair away and the colors start focusing. "Someone found you washed up against the side of the lake. Do you know where you are?"

She doesn't answer. All she see's is flashes of blond hair and blue eyes. She get's flashes of Farkle proposing to Riley, and Lucas and Bev crying.

 _"Lucas and I are getting back together."_

And she's gotta get to Lucas.

"I-I gotta-" Her throat is on fire and it hurts to speak but a woman is pushing her back down on the gurney and there's a prick in her arm.

"We're going to the hospital. You need to tell me your name, sweetheart."

.

When she wakes up, she's in a hospital room. And she's alone.

She stares at the wall for what feels like a century, before a bunch of people pile in.

Her mom smiles at her, tells her something like she's slept for two days straight.

Riley is there. She's looking at her like it's all her fault because she should have stopped her from leaving that night. Which is typical Riley, really. She's just glad to see her and glad to see her boobs two times smaller.

The Matthews are on the other side of the bed, and Shawn is beside her mom, shooting her a small smile.

But Lucas isn't there.

.

She thinks he just didn't bother showing up. She _did_ end up in the hospital at like 4am.

But then she's walking into school a week later- her mom's orders. Apparently going back to school the day you almost drowned to death isn't normal. Shawn was around keeping her company while her mom was working extra shifts. She barely talked to anyone, as Shawn thought she "needed a break from the internet and friends and enjoy life, since you should have a new perspective on it now". She rolls her eyes. Him and Cory were just walking inspirational speeches.

But anyways. She hasn't heard from Lucas. And it's only until she's walking into school that she hears frantic shouting. She was on her way to her locker to clean it out. There was only maybe two weeks left before they graduated and she wasn't about to carry a garbage bag home of stuff while wearing her graduation gown. No thank you.

She turns around just in time to see Lucas dodge some freshman as he's running towards her. She doesn't move until he's right into her personally bubble, holding each side of her face with his hands, his eyes searching hers.

"What the _fuck_ , Maya." And if she didn't see it come out of his mouth, she wouldn't have believed it.

A ghost of a smile appears on her face. "Did you just swear, Lucas?" She whispers into the small space between them. His worried expression doesn't change.

"Farkle decided to pop by this morning, just to give me a little heads up that, oh, you maybe could have died last week and thought I should know." His voice is full of anger but his eyes are still a soft blue color. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Maya reaches her hands up to cup his face in her hands, mirroring his actions. "Why didn't you tell _me_?" She asks back.

His eyes cloud with confusion and he scrunches his nose and don't even tell her that that is not the cutest fucking thing she's ever seen in her damn life. His hands drop from her face slowly.

"What?"

But her hands are still holding his face and she runs her thumb along his jaw. "Remember when we were 16 and you told me you were helping your mom on the roof?" His face fell with realization. "Because I noticed the scrapes on your knuckles?"

"Yeah." He whispers and she _almost_ misses his voice crack. She see's Farkle and Zay coming through the doors and they stop when they notice them.

"You wanna let me know what you really did?" She questions and watches his eyes fall to her lips and back up to her eyes.

"No."

She smiles. "I think you'll tell me anyways."

She watches his mouth open slightly before the bell rings and she flinches. It gives him enough time to step back and shake his head.

"Hey guys."

And fuck. Thank you Riles, for being the worlds best cock blocker.

Maya purses her lips and spares a glance at Lucas before whipping around to grab Riley's shoulders.

"We need to talk."

.

Maya crawls through the bay window that night and she can see Riley already sitting there waiting for her. She sits down beside her slowly and turns to face her.

"Riles-"

"Do you like Lucas?"

And okay. This was not the way it was supposed to go down. Compromising it is then.

"Riley, it's not...easy."

Riley stands up and crosses her arms over her chest. "Then answer this question. What do you like about him?"

"I like..." Maya waves her hands around and drops them in her lap. "Everything, Riles. It's not just because he's nice. Or has nice eyes." She looks up at the brunette. "He loves people with everything he has. He'll go above and beyond for people who don't care half as much as he does. He has a heart of gold and will give someone a million chances if he believes in them. He'll sacrifice his happiness for someone else's without even thinking twice about it...he only knew Bev for two years-"

"Who's Bev?"

Maya stand up abruptly. "Uh...no one. No one...I just, where is this coming from, Riles?"

Riley purses her lips and sits down on the bed. "Because someone asked me the same question and I couldn't answer." She says quietly.

Maya sits beside her and smiles to herself. "Was it Farkle?"

Riley gives her an astound look. "How did you know that, Maya." She demands.

"I think Farkle likes you."

"Oh...I um. I didn't know that...he's...he's cute though."

"When he get's down on one knee, say yes, okay?"

Riley gives her a nervous laugh. "Maya, we're not even dating. Don't be ridiculous."

Maya nods. "Yeah, but he's a nice guy, and I think you should give him a chance."

"Are you gonna give Lucas a chance?"

And yeah. About that.

.

It's like 9, or 10, or maybe even 11pm, she doesn't know, when he opens the door. He has an unreadable expression on his face and moves to shut the door behind him and step into the hall with her.

"Look, if this is about this morning, I'm sorry, I wasn't thin-" He starts rambling which causes her to roll her eyes.

She grabs his hands and he pauses. "Look, Sundance. When I fell off that bridge, I saw things."

"Are you gonna tell me you saw Jesus or something and now you wanna become like a priest, because you haven't insulted me all day. I mean, aside from the nicknames, but I'm certain that will only change when we're dead, but you haven't threatened to punch me yet, so I think I'm doing okay-"

"I saw _you_ , Lucas."

Lucas takes a step back, his brows stitching together.

"Okay, you lost me."

Maya growls and steps back in his personal space, grabbing his collar and dragging him down to her. "A lot of things change in my future, Bucky. A fuck of a lot of things. Don't ask me how I know, because I couldn't tell you. But you...you were always there." She looks into his eyes. "You're a big part of my future, Lucas. I just want it to be in the good way."

He stars at her for moment. "Okay, I can't take this heartfelt speech seriously when I'm being choked."

Maya rolls her eyes so hard she thinks they're gonna fall out of her head. "You know what, you're ruining it." She drops her hands and pushes at his chest, which does nothing but make him snort. "You've ruined it."

She goes to move away but he grabs her wrist and pulls her against his chest. "Wait a minute." He says slowly, a huge smile making it's way to his face. " _Maya_ -" His head tilts slightly and his eyebrows raise in amusement.

"Huckleberry, don't do this." She hisses, using both hands to pry his hand off her wrist but he doesn't budge.

" _Are you_ -"

"Lucas-"

"You're trying to tell me your feelings." He states and he pretty much looks as shocked as she does even though he's the one that said it.

Maya looks at a spot on the wall over his shoulder and she can feel his eyes boring into the side of her face. "Good job, Einstein." She grits through her teeth because she _knows_ he's grinning like the Cheshire Cat and she refuses to look.

"Maya."

His hand loosens from her wrist and he trails it down to her waist, turning her to face him. She squeezes her eyes closed.

 _"If there's one thing you'll take back with you when you wake up, what's it gonna be?"_

 _"That I'm in love with him. And that he needs to know that."_

 _"Just make sure you actually go back and change things."_

When she opens them his head is ducked and he's looking at her with concern.

"I'm not good with words." She mumbles and looks down. He grabs her face in his hands and tilts her head up.

"Then show me."

And then his lips are just right against her's and he's so close that her lips tingle. She tilts her head up to look at him and their nose's bump and she grabs his shoulders to pull him down and brush her lips against his.

And fuck, his lips are soft yet a little chapped from the chill outside and her's sting from the cuts from her head hitting a rock when she fell into the lake. But she's been waiting so long to kiss him (11 years hypothetically if she counts the weird future dream). It's not the best kiss she's had but it's her favorite,  
and holds the most meaning. Her shirt rides up slightly and his hand runs over the exposed skin and sighs into her mouth.

"I like how blue your eyes are." She blurts out when he pulls away.

"What?"

She pushes her hand in his face. "I'm not finished. I love your eyes. And...I love that you're a good person, and how you put others before yourself. Or how your nose scrunches when you're confused. Or how you know you have anger issues but you punch a wall instead of someone's face. Even though that would be like extremely hot." He pushes her hand away from his face and she smiles. "I love..."

 _You._

She doesn't say it. She can't. But she knows some day she will. And he knows that too, because he's grabbing her hand and pulling her into the apartment.

She doesn't think Zay remembers anything, but he winks at her when she tells him her and Lucas are together and she thinks, okay, maybe he does.

they're 20 when she tells him she loves him. It isn't fancy or well thought out. It slips through her lips when they're laying in bed. She woke up cold and turned around, reaching her arms out blindly to find him.

"Hmm. Warmth." She whispers as an arm wraps around her waist. Her eyes flutter open as Lucas buries his head in her neck.

"Hey Lucas?" She says quietly and intertwines their hands.

"Hmm?"

"I'm in love with you."

Everything goes quiet and he stills. She thinks this may have been like her biggest mistake and she'll wait until the next thunder storm to see how this mistake has ruined her life next. But then his arm wraps around her tighter and she feels his smile against her shoulder.

"Yeah. I know."

They're twenty three when she's reading a Baby Names book. She's on the couch and Lucas has his head in her lap and he must have fallen asleep a while ago. But she comes across "Beverly" and her heart stops. A lot of things have changed from what happened in that dream, but she knows Bev won't be one of those things. So when she runs her fingers through Lucas' hair and asks him what he thinks of the name, and he mumbles that he likes it, she knows everything will be okay.

.

 **So. I don't even know what this is. But if you liked it, Review and Favorite and tell me! x**


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